By Samantha McKenzie

At first the good morning texts stop. Then the telephone calls become sparse. What you did to get her was impressive. What you are doing to keep her is questionable. Before you know it, she’s complaining about everything. When the relationship patterns change for the worse, be careful, the end is usually nearby.

I know you’ve heard about the lists that women have to describe the things they want in their ideal man. Some have been refining the list for decades, adding on feature after feature, with the hopes that their dreams will some day come true.

For most women, the lists are very similar. We want a loving, affectionate man, who isn’t afraid to share his feelings. We want men who we can partner with, who will provide us with the things we need and with the things we want. Women want men who are good communicators, who are ambitious, who want to get married, have children, and who treat us like a queen. We also want a man who…stop. You get the picture.

The lists can go on forever.

Today, however, we will take a look at a trait that gets overlooked all too often. Forget about tall, dark and handsome for a moment. Put aside charming and successful.

The most important thing that women are begging for in every relationship is consistency.

Above all, women want men who are consistent. We want men who we can rely on.

Why? It’s simple. Aside from the other traits that often top the lists, like love, communication, and romance, women value consistency because it provides us with a sense of security. Your word becomes something she can rely on.

This is not limited to our relationships. We want to be secure in every aspect of our lives. We enjoy the freedom of feeling safe and the ability to count on others. Consistency is nature’s supplier of peace: Life’s indicator that everything is going to be alright.

We look for consistency in all aspects of our lives. Even in ourselves. It’s the reason why we will take the same route to work, or why we will stick to the same make and model of a reliable car. It’s why we love Sunday dinners at Big Mama’s house and annual family vacations. We look for ways to feel cared for and all avenues that keep us away from harm. This is a part of who we are. This is what consistency does for the human soul.

This does not mean we are not adventurous, or impulsive or invest in taking risks. It just means, more than likely, that we will explore everything we need to know about ziplining before we latch on that harness. It means that we will research a company or a new product before we invest in it. Anything to assure us that we are going to be alright.

A father carves the roast chicken during a family meal with his wife and children, circa 1970. (Photo by L. Willinger/FPG/Getty Images)

Female Runner in London

In relationships, consistency sets the tone for reliability and is a building block for trust. Can I count on you to show up? Do your words match your actions?  It helps us to understand a person’s character, and in some cases, the lack thereof.

Healthy relationships require consistency. If you are looking to move forward with your loved one, take a look at your consistency level and see if you can find ways to improve your track record.

Be everything that you can be, but above all, be consistent.