Find Your Tribe


By Dawn Onley

You can’t share your dream with everyone.

Some won’t understand, and may try to discourage you because of that lack of understanding. Some may even berate your dream because they are not courageous enough to pursue their own dream. In the book “Destiny,” T.D. Jakes cautions readers to seek out people who are safe to share our dreams with. He says if we can find only a few confidants during our lifetime, count it as a blessing.

He then offers up a way we can determine whether a person is a confidant and has our best interest at heart from those who aren’t and don’t.

“If someone is really with you, they will weep when you weep and they will rejoice when you rejoice. If you share some good news with someone and they don’t rejoice with you, stop telling them your business!” Jakes says. “If you walk into a room and tell someone about good things that are happening to you, stop celebrating long enough to watch their reaction. If they are not happy for you, shut your mouth, turn around and walk back out the door. Share your dream with people who want you to succeed.”


Everyone is not happy for your success. Some people won’t be bothered when you’re sad. This is a tough life lesson, but an important one.

Find the ones who are happy for you and sad with you. Find the ones who are safe to share your dream. As you journey through life, it’s important to find your tribe.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Tracye says:

    Oh my, this is so timely. I recently felt so hurt when someone I cared about didn’t care that I was hurting. The message is clear: walk away and don’t look back. I think it’s easier said than done, especially when the persons who hurt us most are closest to us. Family. They are in our space, unavoidable on holidays, their veins pulsing with the same blood. I am learning, still in process, yet ever learning. Well written Dawnie- as usual you write from the heart of women who hope. I am learning that women who hope also hurt and yet there is healing through our tears.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. womenwhohope says:

      Tracye, when family members disappoint us it’s trickier because you’re right, we will share space with them at some point. It’s not as easy as just walking away. What I’ve learned is you can still love the family member while disliking whatever act they did to make you want to walk away from them. I recently saw Brene Brown on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. I made a note to check out her book: “Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.” She addresses life’s disappointments and sticky moments — like when people betray or disappoint us. I feel a book club discussion coming from this. 🙂


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