By Dawn Onley

People come to learn us in a certain way.

Think about one of your dear friends. Say his or her name. What popped into your head just now? Probably a physical image of your friend, but also descriptors – like sweet, funny, loyal, nice, generous, smart, confident, strong, loving — that reinforce your image of him or her.

It’s not just in our conversations and interactions with them, where people come to learn us, although this is the primary way. It’s also in our demeanors, how we express ourselves, how we engage with others in their presence, what we do and even what we don’t do. It’s how we live our lives and the energy that makes up our auras.

This can be good or bad. Friends and family tend to love us regardless and cut us slack for our shortcomings where other people who know us in a less intimate way can form opinions and judgments about us based on the picture that we’re projecting, and we may not even be fully aware of that picture.

When people hear you complaining a lot, talking bad about others, always knee-deep in drama and negativity, they may reasonably conclude that you’re bitter, unhappy, jealous or angry. So this becomes the mental image in their head when they think of you.

When you constantly need validation from others, people may deduce that you’re needy, insecure, or have low self-esteem.

When you laugh heartily and often, and are usually up for anything fun, people may see you as happy-go-lucky, optimistic, easy to get along with, or adventurous.

How we interact with others is how others see us. I’m not talking about a bad or good day here and there, I’m referring to the consistent images and the ongoing conversation people whom we know and who know us have in their minds once they leave us.

Once these opinions are formed, it’s tough to shake them off.

Right about now, I’ll bet that some of you are thinking who cares what others think.

And that’s all well and good (to thine own self be true), until…

You go for that job interview.

You ask your best girlfriend why all guys treat you the same way.

Until, no one wants to be bothered.

Energy matters. Be mindful.