By Dawn Onley
This is not meant to sound vain, but I love my own company. While many people crave companionship, I long for more solitude.
It’s not that I’m not happily married with a toddler, an older son through marriage and a brand new pup (I am), it’s just that coupledom and being a mommy means that I don’t get a lot of “free” time to be by myself the way that I use to — when I would enjoy limitless hours of uninterrupted reading, leisurely massages, routine pedicures, lazy afternoon naps, monthly (sometimes weekly) theater trips, and just silence to think.
To me, alone time is one of the best perks of being single and childless – that is, if you truly enjoy your own company. And, companionship is the beauty of being partnered.
What I’ve come to understand and love about life is its seasons. The beauty of life is appreciating every stage we’re in, while we’re in it. “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven,” Ecclesiastes 3 begins and beautifully explains.
Too often, we want companionship when we’re single and then long for solitude when life gets too busy and loud. We complain that we’re lonely with the unfettered ability to go and come as we please and then we miss those days when our kids open up the door to the bathroom while we’re sitting on the toilet. The grass is always greener …
Too often, we are in such a rush to get from one phase to another that we don’t stop to appreciate the joys that each phase of life bring. It’s so important to show gratitude for each part of our journey, every step of life.
It’s how to live with no regrets.
I have a wanderlust spirit. I have such a spirit of adventure and curiosity about the world we inhibit that it’s hard to contain sometimes. I can also be a loner and an Introvert.
There are days, if I’m being honest, that I’m wistful and miss my full, single life — being unattached and unencumbered. I think it’s an offshoot of really enjoying that phase while I was in it.
I have also come to love the dutiful nature of being a good mom and the dependability of having a partner on this life journey. Preparing lunches for school. Hearing about my husband’s day. Planning our future. Figuring it all out, together.
I think this dichotomy is ok. When the beautiful leaves and brisk temperatures of autumn appear, it’s natural to miss summer while still welcoming fall.
The change in seasons.
“He hath made everything beautiful in his time…”