Loving a Strong Woman

By Samantha McKenzie

Some of you dazzling ladies were born with a natural resilience, an appetite for the long haul and a healthy dose of undeniable strength. Some of you blazing beauties have learned to take life by the horns, fall first in line for the toughest of tasks, and earn every inch of intestinal fortitude on your journey.

Today, the strong woman brand is alive and well. You and your powerful self are woven into the fabric of every family. Strong women are starring in your favorite television shows. Her voice is influencing younger generations and effecting change wherever she goes. This stellar lady is a force to be reckoned with.

Strong women have also earned a rep for being hard to understand and a bit difficult to love at times. It’s not that she’s not loving, she’s just used to taking on the big battles and doing things her way. Mostly because she can, but also because she’s been taught not to depend on anyone else. If you live with her, here are a few tips for loving her the right way and making it last:

Ask Questions. Ask lots of questions and ask them often. Interrupt her routine with engaging questions that show you are interested in what she’s most interested in. Ask questions that stimulate her thoughts and then listen attentively to her point of view. Strong woman get stuck in “doing.” She loves knowing that you care. If you’re just meeting her, find out what she likes and be on the look out for the answers that make her eyes dance, as well as, the ones that make them tear up. If you’ve been married for years, ask the same questions and then some. Women evolve and so do their tastes, opinions and perspectives on a topic. Keep discovering the new her.
Offer Your Help. Strong women won’t ask for help. While you’re not expected to be a mind reader, you will have to become skillful in knowing when she is in need of assistance. You’ll have to be tactical. You’ll have to intrude. General sentiments and offers that sound like “if you need anything, just let me know” won’t work. She won’t let you know. And she’s already thinking how to solve her problems alone… because it’s easier and safer. Be direct and offer your specific assistance. If you make the offer, she’ll accept.
Be a Guide. Learn the art of leading the way. This doesn’t mean that you have to be out front. It just means that you’re committed to her needs. Strong women need information. They are always on a quest to do something and will always need the best way to go about doing it. If she wants to plant a community garden, learn about the local ordinances or find out what type of soil is in the area. Find experts that can help her execute her plan. Be a resource to her and supply her with the things that she yearns for the most. Be a provider.
Let Her Take Off Her Cape. Strong women are fragile. She can’t be “on” every minute of the day. Don’t let her fool you. She needs a private place where she can cry and be consoled. Let that place be with you. She needs to be reassured in herself. She’ll need the loving people to hold her tight some days, allow her to fall to pieces on other days, and be there to pick her back up and put her back together. She needs strong shoulders and a kind heart in her corner. Provide a safe place for her to be vulnerable.
Pray With Her and For Her. Strong women need strong men. And let’s admit, this crazy world is making prayer more of a necessity these days. Strong women need men who are spiritually awake. Don’t hesitate to stop everything and pray with her. Have a keen eye for moments in a strong woman’s life when she will need to take her hands off of the problem and just pray. When she’s done all she can do, be her reminder to give it up to a higher power. Be her partner in supplication.