By Samantha McKenzie
What we speak has power. What we say, good or bad, takes on a life of its own. But the negative things weigh us down. They bring out the worst in us, too. We can actually choose to speak positively about our circumstances and say bye-bye to the words that keep us down.
Say farewell to these types of phrases that slow down our progress:
1. I don’t have a lot of female friends.This comment bothers me to no end. Women who don’t have female friends are scary. They may have been betrayed by a close friend and have lost the ability to trust again. Is it insecurities or an unwillingness to be vulnerable? Or is it that do we not like hearing the whole truth – ’cause that’s what we count on our girls to do. My advice: Start over. Open up once again and take advantage of the treasures that other women have to offer. Female friends are priceless.
2. The kids are getting on my nerves. I’m guilty of saying this, but the reality is our children are blessings. We love them and yet we agree that there are times when it is physically and mentally overwhelming to be their caretakers. They are too talkative, too noisy, too everything. It’s okay to admit it. My advice: Speak to your children in a firm and loving way and train them to give you a time out. Yes, you need one too. You are human and life is messy. Find ways to get away, even if it’s in the house, in a room, with the lights out for 15 minutes. Breathe. Smile. Refocus.
3. I don’t care. Yes, yes, you really do care. People who really don’t care, don’t mention it. This is our feeble attempt to stop caring about something we really care about because it’s too difficult to deal with. What we really want to say is we care, but we no longer have the patience to find a solution. While women are great problem solvers, we don’t necessarily like solving the problems alone. My advice: Say what you really mean. I care very much but I’m tired. Step away from the situation and take some mental time to rejuvenate yourself. If it’s worth it, you’ll come back to the table with a renewed spirit and the strength to take another swing at it.
4. I’m broke. You may be low on cash, awaiting another paycheck or tapped out on your credit cards, but this doesn’t mean you’re broke. It just means you can’t do the things you want to do at this very moment. It can leave you depressed. My advice: If you are in need, learn how to ask for help. Open up your trust circle and relinquish your pride. If you need to earn more money, look for ways to get it. Is it time for a new job? a raise? a start up business? Maybe it’s time to learn how to budget your money better. Be thankful for the life that you do have and look for opportunities to enhance it.
5. I can’t. This phrase is used in many ways. Sometimes it means you lack the ability, other times it means you lack the will. If you don’t know how to do something, then go do your research. Google is my new best friend. Take baby steps in learning and make sure your skills are growing along with it. If you don’t want to do something, then be honest. “I would really like to help you, but I have so much on my plate right now.” My advice: Take the word can’t out of your vocabulary and replace it with words that encourage you to learn, or have more honest conversations that allow you to express your limitations.
Erase these negatives from your daily language. If there are other phrases you say often, go ahead and cancel those as well. Life is short. No need to waste it on things that limit your perception.
Turn your ‘I can’t’ into ‘I can.’ Change ‘I’m broke’ into ‘I’m wealthy.’ Try letting people know what you actually care about instead of masking your feelings. Plan out your day so the children and you have time to unwind. Learn the value of having great friends and when you do, you’ll realize that you can’t live without them.