Sorry. Not Sorry.

By Samantha McKenzie

Ladies, we don’t have to apologize for everything.  We just don’t.  Let’s just agree that there are many things we should apologize for before we begin. Apologize if you truly are sorry for an injury you may have caused, large or small – that was not your intention. Apologize if you’ve hurt a loved one’s feelings and inadvertently left a scar in the relationship.  That may take a few apologies for sure.

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I’m not suggesting that we stop apologizing. That would be ludicrous. I am, however, suggesting that we need to stop apologizing for everything and everybody’s mistakes – that knee-jerk response we use to make sure everyone is okay. A pattern of behavior we’ve become accustomed to putting on display.

Today I want us to nix those unnecessary apologies. The ones we offer up too quickly because it’s just easier. The ones we hand out like church fans, hoping that if we could just keep everyone’s temperature down, everything will be alright.

Don’t be that person. Don’t be the kind of person who apologizes for the things you believe in or the things you have a strong conviction towards. Don’t do it.

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Here’s a short list of reasons why you should never apologize:

1. Don’t apologize to avoid confrontation. You have a right to add facts to a conversation. You have a responsibility to share your knowledge. Don’t deny humanity the wisdom that it’s already lacking.

2. Don’t apologize for having a wide array of emotions. And don’t apologize for using them. Whether it’s happiness, joy, disappointment, anger – use them appropriately. These emotions are a part of your makeup (God’s gift to the world baby girl, remember?), and you were meant to use them to keep our humanity in check.

3. Don’t apologize for having a different point of view. Your mind is a terrible thing to waste. If you believe in a thing, be willing to be the oddball in the room. The last woman standing, so to speak. A disingenuous agreement is not a life skill, it’s a survival technique.

4. Don’t apologize just to keep the peace.  It’s okay if your opinion makes the entire room uncomfortable.  It’s time to ruffle a few feathers. If it’s the truth, speak it. We certainly have evidence that things need to change.

5. Don’t apologize for being smart. Matter of fact, share your intelligence as often as possible.  The world is thirsty for it and it is grossly underutilized. Just look at the headlines and you’ll see where you’ve been missing.

6. Don’t apologize for being a woman. Society has made us believe that our femininity is less than and our needs can wait. Stand firm in your existence. Being super accommodating is not beneficial to you (or us as a whole).

I am a firm believer that saying sorry goes a long way in mending mistakes. A life that has truly journeyed would understand. By all means, offer up atonements where ever necessary.  Just make sure you represent yourself and the truth. Who else will?

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