Strong, Sprinkled with Extra

By Samantha McKenzie

Have you ever been told that you’re too strong or that it’s hard for people to help you because you act like you have it all together or like you don’t need anyone?

Image result for strong black women

Have you ever felt like you’re not enough or that if you were just a little smarter, or richer, or skinnier, that you’d be perfect? What about being too extra? Have you been accused of “doing the most,” like if you would just stop being so over the top that you’d be better off? Have you ever…?

Image result for strong womenWhether someone has ever told you any of these things or you just made it up in your head, it’s time you walk over to the dumpster and throw it all away. Yep, throw it all away.

If you’re a strong woman, then pat yourself on the back. You definitely have it going on. I mean, who wouldn’t want a strong woman on their team, right? Your strength means that life has provided you with ample experiences to build your internal fortitude. It means that the universe has signed you up for greater things and there’s nothing in the world that should make you feel less than regal. You are strong on purpose. Don’t spend anymore time explaining it. It’s a positive part of who you are, not a handicap or an accident. Go ahead and turn your side-eye into a wink and keep it moving.Image result for strong women

If your feeling inadequate, check yourself. Don’t allow those thoughts to settle. You are right where you are supposed to be. If you want to learn something new, then go for it. If it’s just not your thing, then get comfortable with what you already have. Even worse, if your feelings of not being enough are coming from people who say they love you, you may want to rethink your relationships. Don’t spend your time with people who don’t see your value. With all of your flaws, be mindful of what you bring to the table. Break away from comparing yourself to everything and everyone around you. You were always meant to be unique. Look back at your thumbprint and start over.

And to all the ladies who have been labeled as being too extra, my hat goes off to you. You are the cream of the crop, the ones among us who pay attention to every detail, who go the extra mile, who plan ahead for the unexpected. You certainly rock. Over achievers make people step their game up. Don’t be discouraged by those who lack the knowledge or the patience to keep up with you. Continue to do your best and expect the best out of others. There’s no reward in shrinking to make anyone feel better. If you have the talent to do, then by all means do. Find other extra people to share your gifts with – those who will really appreciate you. Extra people open businesses, and plan weddings, and take risks in the stock market. They require the most of themselves first, and then you. Consider it a favor.

Image result for strong womenSay goodbye to all of the things that stop your progress. Stay strong and help others find their own strength. Challenge your insecurities when they pop up. You’re more than enough, you’re just right. Spread your extra-ness around like our lives depended on it. You are who you are because of your experiences.


One Comment Add yours

  1. Esa says:

    Well said!!! This world has done a number on humankind in programming what our roles are to be, our likes and dislikes, trends etc. Since when does this world, full of horrific things and powerful horrific people with influence ever have the right to have such an impact? It doesn’t, we have to see the need, just as your expressing here, to be who we are and never shrink back!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s